480. What is your most preferred form of affection?

For me? either gifts or snuggling
For her? acts of service or snuggling.

470. If you learned information that confirmed your partner is having an affair, how would you respond?

First I would want to hear her side.
Then I would hope she still wants to give us another chance.
If so, off to therapy we would go.
If not, I'd cry my eyes out and be lost forever.

460. What defines "family" to you

I used to think it was blood relatives and in-laws. Now I know that it is anyone who feels like family - always has your back, complains about your flaws but will kick the @$$ of anyone else who would, and just generally loves you like you are their family and vice versa.

450. After committing to a partner - stating your intention to be together FOREVER - what, if anything, do you think justifies changing that commitment at a later date?

I truly can't imagine a reason knowing how much I have loved her for most of my life. Since asked, I would have to say cheating, but even then I would want to work it out if possible.

440. Once you make a commitment to a partner - a lifetime commitment, be that through a ceremony, a wedding or other formal and stated commitment - do you believe that the loss of attraction or loss of passion is sufficient reason to separate?

Fortunately, I've not had to worry about that even after 29 years. Thinking about it now, no, I don't think that is a good reason to separate. I think that is a good reason to rekindle it.

430. Are you comfortable with and/or willing to go to bed mad at your partner? If you are willing to go to bed mad, are you likely to do so on the couch or in bed with your partner?

One rule that we have always had is that we work it out before we go to bed. We have rarely broken that rule. However, we did just recently. I was NOT comfortable at all with it. At first I just stayed in bed. Then I started feeling sorry for myself and went out and slept on the couch.

420. Do you have a need that you suspect your partner will never be able to meet?

I'd like to say no. Unfortunately, the only person who can make me like myself, care for myself, and forgive myself is me. But she does give it a good try :)

410. What do you appreciate most about how your partner communicates?

I can tell that she really, really loves me, and likes me with everything she does and says. I see the best of me in her eyes, and that's a pretty big accomplishment.

400. Would you rather spend time in the house doing your own thing or spend time doing something together with your partner?

When we both had Monday-Friday jobs we were inseparable. Now that we only have one day a week together, I've been forced to spend time with myself. I'm getting better at that, which surprises me, but I still definitely prefer hanging out with my partner.

390. What is the most disgusting taste to you?

Oh there are so many things I don't like to eat so I could go on for days with this. Right now I will settle on soup beans.

380. Do you prefer to drive or ride as a passenger with friends and family?

If it is a motorcycle, I prefer to drive. Anything else, let somebody else do the driving and I will kick back and relax.

370. What is your most quirky or unusual behaviour?

My desk and dresser are always a hot mess but I can't to see a sticker that isn't straight.

360. Which side of the bed do you prefer? What's a good solution if both you and your partner prefer the same side?

I prefer my partner to be on my right side not only for sleeping, but sitting, walking, and pictures. Fortunately she is comfortable on the left side so we don't have to worry about a good solution for that. I guess we could switch off or just sleep so close together we would both be on the same side.

350. Is good grammer important to you in your mat selection? Explain.

While it isn't anywhere in the top ten, it is important to me. I think there is something missing intellectually if you can't use proper grammer. Having said that, I realize there are things that trip me up like not knowing if my participles are dangling, switch tense in improper places, etc. so perfect grammer isn't important, but good grammer is somewhere in the top 50 things I would consider.

340. What, if any, role do you believe fear should play in religion or spirituality?

This is coming from a Christian perspective which I believe is heavy on the fear, especially in some denominations. I always like to sum it up by saying

As long as I do what you want to do
Say what you want to hear
Be what you want me to be
You think that's love
Baby that ain't love to me

"That ain't love" REO Speedwagon

 Looking at it from my own perspective, if someone did things just because they feared me I wouldn't believe that was showing respect or love. In fact, fear is the absence of love.

So I guess that means fear doesn't have any place in religion. Then again, religion doesn't have any place in spirituality either.

330. What is your religious or spiritual belief about homosexuality?

Since I'm gay I have had alot of opportunities to ponder this. I've settled on the conclusion that God made homosexuals to see how Christians would treat them. You know, the whole however you treat the least of these is how you treat me thing.

I'm totally sick of hearing love the sinner hate the sin. It's so like "It would be OK with me but God says no". Way to throw the big guy under the bus.

320. Do you believe in heaven and hell?

I believe in the heaven part, just not hell. It makes no sense. In the parable of the prodigal son the father is distraught always searching for his son to come home. Once he does there is a huge party. Of course some will point to the fact that the son repented, but if he hadn't the father would have been distraught about that. How could heaven be heaven if God was too busy being distraught about all the people that didn't make it?

Secondly, I've seen self-proclaimed born again christians still sinning. If they can still sin and get in, what is the difference in heaven unless God flips some switch when you get there to turn off all the sinfulness inside of you? If he is going to do that for some, why not for all?

310. Why aren't people happy?

Because they are too busy chasing happiness without first defining what that looks like for them. Then they begin to see people around them they perceive to be happy (who likely aren't happy either), get jealous, and start putting them down. That negative energy draws even more happiness away from their lives. Then they repeat it all over again into a slow spiral of death.

300. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years if you could spend the rest of your years wealthy?

Absolutely not. I believe I'm rich beyond my dreams in the relationships I have, especially with my partner. I wouldn't want to miss an extra second with her.

290. If you were self-employed and were paid mostly in cash, would you claim all of you income and pay taxes on it?

Assuming I could keep track of all of it (I haven't balanced my checkbook in 25+ years), yes, I would claim it all. I don't need the gubmint tracking me down.

280. What advice would you give to yourself ten years ago?

You're not as lame as you think you are. You're actually pretty wise, smart, pleasant to be around, loving, thoughtful, the list goes on and on. So get over yourself and start living.

270. Under what, if any, circumstances do you believe it is ok to lie?

Wow. I guess it's because I've always known I'm gay and came out so late in life that the line between a lie and the truth became very fuzzy. Mostly I was lying by omission. I hadn't come to grips with what being gay means so I thought that it was a bad thing and didn't want to get hurt or disappoint anyone. I still lie by omission regarding being gay when I feel the situation isn't safe, but that rarely happens.

As far as lying that has nothing to do with being gay, that is a hard one. I don't like to hurt people's feelings, so if they ask me about an outfit or something trivial like that, I tell them it's perfect. I don't see it as a lie though since it is their insecurity and doubt talking and they just need a little pep talk. After all, if they believe their makeup is perfect, they project that it is and that's all that matters.

Big fat lies I try to stay away from since it just makes it hard to keep your story straight.